I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
