so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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