Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think i have two assholes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize