there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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