Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im part way to drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
