dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
