We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize