the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They are going to name an STD after you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
