You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I looked at my own cervix.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
