grandma shit on top of the toilet
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
