id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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