The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize