white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
