4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
