Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
