Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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