wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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