Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
