I'm eating all of the evidence.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
