He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
