our cab driver is having phone sex.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
