Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
