i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Farmville is her only friend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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