yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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