My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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