The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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