she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
