It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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