I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize