I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
