..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
