Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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