He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
