What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
