New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
