I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
