I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
