Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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