wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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