Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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