Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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