Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(815): View more from Illinois

What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

we were pretty classy up until the second keg

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(703): View more from Virginia

im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

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(317): View more from Indiana

can you pick me up an extra syllabus

(317): View more from Indiana

i passed out in the shower again

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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(612): View more from Minnesota

no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

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(437): View more from

the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles

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