when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Two words: blizzard sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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