let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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