id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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