she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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