He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
