i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
