I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need a beard to bite.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
