Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
