so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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