Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
