East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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