wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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