my soul wont recognize me after tonight
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
