I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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