two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
