What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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