"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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