How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm having to shit out rocks
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize