The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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