The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
