Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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