Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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