Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
