I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
