you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
