sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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