I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
