Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
