He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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