Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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