We should be called the Road Head Warriors
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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