The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
