I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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