I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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